The first gay pride march in the country, spearheaded by ProGay Philippines, was held in 1994. Attendees were estimated to be around 50 or so. The second was held in 1996, spearheaded by Jomar Fleras of ReachOut AIDS Education Foundation, a non-government organization (NGO) involved in HIV/AIDS prevention work.
The 1996 pride march was a massive hit. Thousands of people attended. Malate was packed to the rafters. CNN and other TV networks worldwide covered
the event. At one point, I was seated
with a trans friend at the circular stage of the Remedios Circle. We were not aware that a cameraperson from
CNN was filming us. When we finally
became aware, I told the man (he’s a he), “We’re lovers!” My hand was on top of my friend’s so we
really looked like lovers at the time.
The man just nodded and continued filming us, while my friend and I
laughed (because we’re not lovers). I
was touchy-feely that I’d been mistaken by people who don’t know me to be
attracted to them. I’m not as
touchy-feely as before because I’m reminded by my hubris, “I’ve had hundreds if
not over a thousand encounters under my belt, why would I bother with you?”
My trans friend went to the US and, last I heard, has had
surgical sexual reassignment.
In 1999, Jomar gave word that he would no longer helm the
pride march the following year. So, in
2000, Task Force Pride Philippines (TFP) was born. The “flagship” person was Danton Remoto,
co-editor of Ladlad: An Anthology of Philippine Gay Writing. During the first of many meetings, it was
decided that Ging Cristobal would serve as the “secretariat,” so all
communications were coursed through Ging.
Only I and Jack Hernandez, an artist, were the individual
members of TFP, all the rest were organizational members.
We divided ourselves into a number of committees. I was part of the project committee headed by
Malu Marin. That same year (2000), Malu
would establish another NGO that caters to OFWs (overseas Filipino workers) who
come home with HIV/AIDS. I think Malu
had planned the HIV/AIDS NGO even before we got together to organize TFP.
I attended the march annually until around 2008 and
intermittently thereafter. Arthritis was
catching up, and it’s getting painful to walk distances.
In one of the pride parades (I forgot the year; it was held
in Malate), a gay man rode a float with his family jewels for the world to
see. This earned the ire of the local
government. We later learned he was a
Filipino-American who’s not aware of local culture and laws. I don’t know if the guy was jailed. I also don’t know if he was banned from
attending subsequent parades (I think he was).
There was a year when I asked my medical school classmates
to attend the pride march as part of the medical team. Robec (bisexual woman, now deceased), Bebang
(lesbian), and Marie (lesbian) took part.
Bebang is an internist, and Marie is a general surgeon. Robec, Bebang, Marie, and I formed the only
openly LGBT (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender) circle of friends in medical
school at the time.
For each parade, TFP (even ProGay and Jomar before TFP)
would create a slogan specifically for that year’s parade. They’re mostly about human rights.
LGBT issues then were somewhat different from issues
now. Note I still prefer to use LGBT
instead of more letters after LGBT. I have
no problem with the new letters. It’s
easy enough to master the gAyBC’s (ABCs) of this era. I just prefer LGBT because LGBT were the
letters of my generation.
There are two issues that I firmly take a stand on. The rest I won’t talk about. First, same-sex marriage. Second, preferred pronouns specifically the
use of “they” as a singular pronoun.
In 2015, America legalized same-sex marriage across all
States. I came home that night (from
Marilao to Manila) and checked Google for news.
I was surprised to find out the Supreme Court of the United States ruled
for the legality of same-sex marriage. I
took a moment of silence to nurture the milestone. I was really very happy for my American
siblings.
Truth be told, I’m against marriage. I’m not into it possibly because I’m not the
nesting type. Sticky splashes have
filled motel rooms and open spaces because of my encounters.
While I am theoretically/personally against marriage, I am
practically for it. I have heard of
horror stories where a couple separated because one dies and the other is
maltreated by the relatives of the dead partner. The surviving lover has no claim to the home
that she/he built with love through the years and is malignantly evicted from
everything he/she holds dear. A legal
marriage protects against this atrocity.
The pronoun “they” can be used as a singular only when the
person being talked about is not specified.
For example, “The company issued a statement. They said that…” I regularly use they as a singular this way.
If the person is specific/known, then only “he” or “she” is
used. I disagree with using “they” as a
singular.
I have no problem with calling a woman a man or a woman a
“he” if he wants that. I have no problem
with using “she” on a transwoman. I just
can not stomach “they” for a specific individual. If a person dislikes to be referred to as he
or she, then she or he and like-minded individuals should use another word that
they invented, without encroaching on the rights of others.
In certain places in the West, not using preferred pronouns
can get a person and institutions penalized (preferred pronouns are now
enshrined in law in certain places). It
is said to be discriminatory not to use a pronoun that aligns with the person’s
gender identity (because refusal places undue harassment and discomfort on the
person with preferred pronouns).
Essentially what I said earlier, I have no problem aligning
my pronouns with a person’s gender identity, but the pronoun “they” is not
something I can align with a specific individual.
Some people are uncomfortable using he or she on
themselves. I am uncomfortable using
they on a specific individual. If the
law states that it is discriminatory not to use preferred pronouns (as is the
case in certain Western places), isn’t it discriminatory as well to compel others to
use language they’re not comfortable with?
A teacher in the United States did not want to use the
preferred pronouns and names of his students, so as a compromise, he asked the
school if he could just use family names (so he did). A number of students complained because they
felt singled out for not being called by their preferred names. The school fired the teacher who sued later
on. The courts sided with the
school. There are other cases of
teachers getting fired in the United States for not using preferred pronouns
and names. Google it. My goodness, what a travesty.
Preferred names fall within the domain of preferred pronouns
in said Western places. I don’t have a
problem with names. If Pedro wants me to
call him, or her, Esmeralda, I’ll call her/him Esmeralda. Just don’t wave the “singular they” flag, I
shall not salute to it.
Same-sex marriage is a human right. Preferred pronouns are special rights.
Preferred pronouns are not an issue in the Philippine legal system. Not yet. I hope it remains that way.